Friends II

Gathering with Yuan Seng, Suyin & Siew Mun @ Gasoline Kepong on May 19th, 2009.

(from right: Siew Mun, Suyin, Yuan Seng & me)

Though this gathering only four of us, but we did really enjoy it very much.
Though me, Siew Mun & Suyin met two days ago, but the topics for today never endding. We have too much to share about, too much to catch up with each other, especially Yuan Seng.
We always miss him in every single meet up or gathering that we organized before. For me, almost all of them are only having little changes or no changes at all on themselves, regardless what is the condition they are in now. This is subjected to all my previous classmates in form six. Due to that observation, I also realized that the changes on myself are really too much and perhaps many of them cannot really accept those. I become more hot-tempered than last time, more materialistic, low patience, more playful and I also don't know how to describe myself. I really hope my friends would remind me that in some conditions that I am not so rasional, advise me not to do so.

Friends I

Closest friends ever be since 11 years ago~ Seow Ying.

Today, is considered as a special day for me, not only for the gathering that our gang miss for so long time, but it also let me realized about the meaning of real friends. Seow Ying, a friend that always beside me since primary school, let me clearly define about friendship. No matter how busy we are, we would always know what is happening around each other. We never beg for extra time to meet up, but we would have lots to share when we see each other once in a blue moon. She also the one who let me realized that I did changed a lot that some of my changes she could not accept. She also let me know that we as human beings should have enjoy our lifes more, and not too desparate on certain things. I shall always treasure her as I could.

with Siew Mun & Ee Leen~

Besides Seow Ying, I do have few old friends that always close to my heart. They always know my feelings well and never tired to take care of my feelings. Though now we have to separate for our studies, but we are still hanging out when we are free.

Nicole,
a friend that never leave me alone,

always encourages meto have a greater achievement.
Advising me never give up my dream.
It is my pleasure to have her as a friend as
she is always take care of me in certain condition,
not only to the context of feelings.

Nic, let me realized that
no matter in what stage of life,
or how tough is the condition,
as a human we should always have our own dream.
The problems that we are facing are not able to block us from achieving our dream.
Continuing of own passion would always be the fuel of life.




I am so lucky to have lots of friends who do always care for me. It is too many to list down one by one by I am still trying my best to list down all. This post is especially for all my old friends that I am still hanging with them and I would still connect with them till all of us married, have own children, or even become nanny.

好久，好久。。。

好久没有像此刻那样轻松，

是自己之前的执著？

亦或是特地跟自己过不去？

算了，把握当下才最重要。

放下累人的担子，

放下对人的偏见，

放下对我的期待，

原来，放下是那么的容易，
也那么的难。

回到最初的那个自己，

做回自己最开心的事，

享受着写意的时光，

才是自己一直以来最向往的生活。

放下执著吧！ 让自己开心的过活吧！

就像那只蝴蝶一样，
自在的生活！

忙，盲?

忘了到底是怎么一回事，
忘了自我，一切似乎离自己太一远了
，无论怎么努力地追逐，都似乎是徒劳无功的。
这压抑的感觉令我快要窒息了，什么时候才能摆脱呢？


朋友们都视我为工作狂，没有一刻能静下来，
周旋在一大堆的工作中而自得其乐。在同时，
我也习惯了快节奏的生活，厌倦一切蹉跎岁月的活动，
使得自己的神经更紧绷，迷失了原来的自己。
我到底是真的忙，还是我到现在还不肯接受现在的生活，
亦或是我太现实主义了？
我现今所拥有的一切根本无法满足我那庞大的欲望，
社会的现实把我推进了无底深渊，让我更贪婪地掠夺我认为是我应分得到的东西。


在这急躁的脾气下，得罪了身边很多人而不知，
也在懂了自己犯错的地方，才晓得放慢脚步，
用心思考究竟是否真的很忙，还是在很盲目地追求所谓的理想。
在这个时候，碰巧有个机会，让我静静地站在大马路边，
看着夜里穿流不息的车辆，看看四周快速的步伐似乎急着回家与家人团聚，
看见了夜空闪烁的星星像是在对我说话，这一切久违了的画面唤醒了那个盲目的我，
有多久没有静下心来欣赏身边的一切美好的事物，那些事都像是离我好遥远。


直到有一天，弟问起我是否真的很忙时，
我才发觉我其实并不忙，我只是在盲目的追求一些不属于我的东西，
一些我很渴望得到但或许我必须付出很多代价的东西。
由于与弟发生了一些不开心的事，我才放慢我的脚步，
认真地思考自己所忽略的，不懂得珍惜的一切幸福的事。

是我做错了吗？我那所谓的理想真的那么重要吗？


“我坚持的，就值得坚持吗；我所相信的，就是真的吗？如果我敢追求，我就敢拥有吗？”

梁静如的这首《属于》完完整整地唱出了我现在矛盾的心情。
没错，我承认我一直以来都怀着远大的理想及抱负，
这也是在我发觉自己已蹉跎了不少岁月而为自己定下的计划，
但我还能坚持下去吗？为了这所谓的理想，我忽略了属于我的美好事物，
忘了自己生存的意义。我一直以来所看到及相信的事，就是真的吗？
原来我很多时候都忽略了一些事物背后的意义，勿以为我看到就是真的
，也不给机会别人去解释。我很勇敢地追求的一段友谊，我发觉并不是我所想象的那样，我根本就无法掌握那段友情，现今，对我来说只是一项奢侈品，我并没有能力去拥有它。


或许我不该这么的执著，放下肩上的包袱应该会让我走得更远吧！今天和两个弟弟一起享有晚餐，我才知道，其实我也能放慢我的步伐生活。原来这个时候的我感觉很开心。

26-3-2009, 2340